A FIRE IN THE HEART

It was Wednesday 12:30 pm. My friends and I went to the school’s dining hall as usual and served lunch. We always loved Wednesdays and never seemed to miss any meals reason being, the chips and burgers was something no one dared to miss. The afternoon was too hot for comfort. This was the sole reason a majority of the students avoided Wednesday afternoon classes. Sizzling heat plus full stomachs obviously leads to no good.

Janet, Adassah, Charity and I were having a great time chatting while eating when a good friend, whose name I won’t mention (so let’s call him Dan), just came out of nowhere and joined us. This was something we had gotten used to in campus. People starting conversations even with those they do not know. That is why it is referred to as a communication university by many.

Dan is a sarcastic and funny guy. He is the type that lights up a room whenever he walks into it. It might sound cliché, but that’s just him, such a rare species. In the midst of all the laughter and amusement, he glanced at each one of us before asking, “Why are you alive?”

I thought to myself, “Here we go again, one of his sarcastic moves.”

All of us just looked at him and said nothing. We always got away with silent treatment when it came to him, just not this time.

He looked straight at me and continued, “Everywhere I go I hear people say everyone was created for a reason and a purpose. If I kill you right now what will change? …. We’ll come to your burial and fill our stomachs with nice food and just months down the line you’ll be forgotten, right?”

Now where did this come from? A minute ago we were talking about all the happy moments we experienced together then now he decides to drop a bombshell.

“What are you trying to say?” Adassah asked.

“All I am saying is that we are just living. God has no purpose for any of us. There is no evidence that your so called God created us. The Bible is not even a source. In fact, it was written by people who are long dead. I do not believe in the Bible; it is old. I do not believe in God.”

There it was. What none of us was expecting to discover. He was an Atheist. Which brings us to one most important question; what exactly is religious faith?

According to the Oxford dictionary, it is the theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God’s will. It is a fire in our hearts. Different religions have different ways of showing their faith in who they worship. I grew up knowing that there are only three religions; Muslims, Hindu and Christians. But it appears there are more than I thought. Some say Atheism is a religion. No offence but calling Atheism a religion is like calling bald a hair color. That is just my opinion and if you beg to differ I have more.

I’m not putting down any religion. Everyone has freedom to worship or not to. I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t a God and die to find out there is.

Our faith helps us do the impossible. We are given the ability to explain things that are known to ourselves even though others may not comprehend. How do you convince a person who has no religious faith that there is a supernatural being above us? This is a person who doesn’t believe the sun actually rises. How do you prove to him that it does rise? Do you say the earth rotates to make it possible or to make it worse say you have seen it rise many times?

Having a strong religious faith enables an individual to be hardheaded in that, no one is able to easily change what and how they think. If your faith is not strong, you might be easily persuaded and doubt what you believe in.

What if I approach you and ask how exactly God can be three persons; the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, at the same time. Does this mean that He has three personalities? If God is the Father and Son, how then is it possible for him to give birth to himself through Virgin Mary? In John 35:11 “Jesus wept.” Since God is the Son (Jesus), does it mean God weeps?

Now most of you are probably nodding and saying that there is a point in the questions I just asked. Some of you actually doubt their faith. Nothing a person says to me can shake my faith. Give me one statement against my faith and I’ll have a thousand reasons why I won’t change for anything.

Look around for something that doesn’t have a cause and therefore a beginning. Is there any? The universe certainly did not just drop itself from nowhere. There has to be a designer. The Bible might be old but wouldn’t you say the same for Fort Jesus (an old building in Mombasa)? There must be something to make it survive that long, right? Here is a fact: If you worship God, you can’t lose, if you don’t, you can’t win.

We live by faith, not by sight. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I’m aiming at heaven because I know I will get earth thrown in. If I aim at earth alone, I am positive I will get neither. That is why I do not worship a person from the earth but the God who stays above.

I could hear someone saying my name from a distance but I was lost in thoughts and just sat there looking like a zombie.

“CYRIAN!” Dan shouted, waking me up from my world. I gained back my senses and an idea crossed my mind before I said to him, “Funny people do not exist.”

“What do you mean?” He said. “I am here and I’m certainly not boring.”

“Then how come not everyone in this dining hall is laughing?”

“That is because they have not come to me.”

“Exactly my point.” I said. “God exists. You just have to go to Him.”

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

Every time you hear a rumor about you, you think of as many culprits you could ever come up with but never the closest person living under the same roof with you.
A rapist doesn't have to be a stranger. It could be that friend you give a light hug and take a stroll with every single day.
We are so blind, in fact too blind to see that what eats us is just in front of us or around us.
Those you consider as friends might lead to your downfall and be the end of you.
“Best friends forever” is a phrase we use a lot. You think your friends make the most of your days, well I say I make the most of my days.
We all make mistakes. Our inadequacies make us human and so we expect to be forgiven for all the times we are sorry.
I can only take too much of someone’s sorrys.
It gets tiring along the way when all you hear is “I’m sorry this I’m sorry that.”
Instead of being sorry, be yourself.

I have many good friends. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
But I also have many enemies; and I treasure them a lot. They always make me realize things I dint know about me.
I would say I am my own best friend.
I don’t bring myself down, I don’t gossip about myself, everywhere I walk I am sure to bring three people: me, myself and I.

This doesn't mean there are no loyal friends.
There are people that deserve the title “bff” and kudos to those who are blessed with them (me being one of them)
Then there are the fake ones.
If you can tell fake gold from real gold why is it so hard to tell when you have fake friends?
It’s as easy as that.

Enough about the friendship talk before someone accuses me of breaking one.
The way these laptops auto correct our grammar just baffles me sometimes.
They make me think I’m crazy when I type some words and give me weird alternatives; words I've never heard in my entire life.
Next time I type the word “rafiki” and they give me abnormal alternatives like “reface” or “ratfink”, I will scream.

MUSIC, THE SHORTHAND OF EMOTION

I must have danced or sang my way out of my mother's womb because my love for music is beyond words.
I listen to RnB, Pop, Hip Hop, local, rock music; everything...well except for zilizopendwa.
Earphones might be a sign of anti-social behaviour but they sure as hell save a person from a very annoying person.
Now you and I know that there are those special people who do not have the word fullstop existing in their dictionaries.These are the kind of people who talk as if they are expecting someone to jump from nowhere and say, "TADAA! This is a reality show and you just won yourself a nobel prize!"





Then again people have to understand that certain types of songs just do not work as ringtones.
Some songs just give me the creeps and are even capable of waking the dead from their graves.
They are high pitched and so noisy that the owner of the phone also jumps out of fear before receiving the call.
I tried it once, I put a certain rock song as my ringtone.
I screamed every time I heard my phone ring.

As much as you love a song, try not to sing along with headphones on.

I know they would lead you on and you might think you actually sound like Rihanna or Weezy but people near you are not hearing any melodious voice.
Try recording yourself as you sing.
The results might make your self esteem go down to a level you never expected.

Don't let me stop you from singing though.
We all know old habits die hard.
After all, different people have different ways of expressing themselves whenever their favorite song plays.

"One thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain."

COME OUT, COME OUT...WHEREVER YOU ARE

It is not my nature to sub-tweet or post updates about people indirectly. I mean why go all the way and tire my fingers while typing a whole paragraph which doesn't make any sense when i can call or talk to you face to face and tell you exactly what I want to tell you?
Think of the stress it will save you: The energy you could have used to think of words that will not give the impression that you are actually talking about the person. The anger you transfer to the keyboard or keypad when typing. The guilt conscious that keeps reminding you that you overreacted. The fact that the person you intended it for doesn't see the update or tweet.

We are not playing hide and seek here now are we? Mature people do not have to be reminded on how to act. A mature person knows when he/she has made a mistake and would act accordingly instead of playing the victim.

On a much lighter note.... I just realized my new obssession; and no...it's not shoes. :-)

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE

Whenever I am told to give a testimony in class I think to myself
"What will I say?"
After today, I can honestly say I have a testimony.


My stubborn friend had invited me over for lunch today.
I decided to join him since I had given him way too many excuses for a long time.
I had with me Ksh 200 which was more than enough for my fare to and fro.
My brother came up with this 'brilliant' idea:
Why don't we take a shortcut? It's much cheaper anyway.
Apparently, this shortcut turned out to be a torturous 30 minute walk with too many corners.


On arriving at the stage, I took a matatu to where my lunch
date was.
We had an awesome time together and ate good food; which was the best part of the evening.
This is not to say that I did not enjoy the company.
We are talking about one of my close friends here.


Knowing that I have a seven o'clock curfew, I left the place early enough so that I ould get home on time.
I boarded a matatu, alighted halfway and took a motorcycle (honda) home.


My fear for motorcycles started way back when I was a toddler.
My dad carried me to town one day and did not see the bump ahead of him while he was at full speed.
I was literally thrown in the air and landed on the road, seated.
My phobia started there.


Now, back to my journey back home.
It was dark already at 1840hrs.
I closed my eyes and said a short prayer while on the motorbike.
On opening my eyes, I saw a matatu coming towards us at full speed while overtaking another which obviously was not willing to slow down.


The bike I was on just stopped and my heart was beating fast.
My hands had grabbed the rider so tightly and pushed him forward with all my might.
My eyes were shut.
I was expecting to hear the sound of a car smashing a two wheel ride.
I felt strong wind pass me with so much force.
I opened my eyes and witnessed the car move quickly past us.
I heaved a sigh of relief.


Maybe God had decided He wanted to take me today but after that short prayer, He gave me another chance.


Everything happens for a reason.
That's my testimony.

MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

I went out with a friend the other day and I couldn't help but notice how careful she was spending her money. If there is one thing about me that I am certain of, it's the fact that I am a spendthrift.
Many think that spending too much is a curse or something ...call me weird but I think it's a gift. Life is too short to withdraw myself from having fun just because I want to put a ten shilling coin in a safe somewhere. Saving is not bad at all' but why save for ten years only for you not to end up being the person to spend it in the end? This is where my advice comes in; spend your money when you can because you never know who spends it. However, we cannot hide from the fact that some people are just not givers. They'd rather hold on to something (money to be precise)that they barely use than give it to someone who needs it. Others spend as a sign of showing off. When it comes to money, everyone is familiar and of the same religion.

I am a very rich person. I don't have to have thousands of notes to prove this fact. As long as I am happy with myself and satisfied with what I have... am good. Someone once said, the safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket. With that in mind, I believe anyone can be a millionaire. Not everything can be determined by money. It can't buy love.

WHEN VICTIMS BECOME THE ACCUSSED

“Please…for the love of God. Don’t do it!” the young woman shouted at the top of her voice but to no avail. Two huge men, dark in complexion with anger written all over their faces stood over her. The night was quiet except for shrills and squeals from the woman who was fighting for herself. The men rolled her on the muddy ground and struggled with her feeble hands in a bid to strip her. They did not even stop to look at her face which was full of fear and sadness. The female tried kicking and throwing hands but it did not help. She let them have their way, screaming like her world had come to an end.
“Aaaaaaaagh!” I found myself screaming and immediately paused the movie I Spit on Your Grave and Pee on Your Corpse. For a moment there I thought I was actually being violated. The pain the young woman was going through was nothing compared to what I had seen in my whole entire life. The manner in which the men were handling her made me wonder what had become of them.
There have been many rape cases in our homes, schools and even workplaces. In most cases if not all, men are the ones taking advantage of the female. I do not understand how a human can get excited over torturing and hurting an innocent person all in the name of sexual satisfaction. Where is the satisfaction when force, vigour and pain are involved?
Some say females bring this upon themselves hence making it the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. By this, they mean that ladies drink, drug themselves and dress in a manner that drives men mad. I agree with the drinking part to some extent but not 100% with the dressing part. Take for example nine year old victims. They are barely in their puberty stage. Their hips are not evident and neither are their chests ballooned up. How exactly do they bring this upon themselves?
On the other hand, you do not expect me to cover myself from head to toe in a heap of clothes just because I do not want to make a man crazy. After all, who said doing that is a guarantee that a person will be safe? Certain men rape even when one is walking down the streets in a mass of blankets. So there is no need wearing too much only to suffer in scotching heat just because someone somewhere is senseless enough to pounce on you anytime.
What hurts the most is seeing an assaulter walk scot free. I strongly believe the only punishment heavy enough is to castrate them. If you view this from a Christian point of view; if your hand is stopping you from praising God then cut it off and in this case, it is stopping them from giving women, their freedom and peace of mind. Even in the movie itself, the young woman’s sole purpose will be to turn tables on the rapists and inflict upon them every torturous moment they carried on her; only much, much worse.
I do not want to walk along a pavement suspecting anyone that is walking slowly behind me. Neither do I want to appear hysterical because of looking in all directions; left, right and centre, while walking on a lonely road. I want to walk at my own pace and do what I want at whatever time I feel like.
Victims of rape carry their memories with them for the rest of their lives. Those who seek counseling services are at an advantage because they come to terms with their situation sooner than their counterparts. They are not any different from any other human being. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them and it is not their fault that this tragedy happened to them. This is not to mean that they should associate all men with violence. Do not assume all men are the same because of one dreadful incident. Recovery from this type of trauma can be attained through forgiveness, being positive and practicing acceptance which is the key to moving on.
Now, back to the movie… The girl was losing strength as her voice faded away. “That’s enough. I’d rather stick to cartoons,” I thought to myself as I ejected the movie.

SMILE FOR THE CAMERA

Most people do not know a lot about me; some barely even know me. There is so much about me that I myself get shocked sometimes at what I discover every single day. The attitudes I possess and learn, my likes and dislikes, my hobbies and what I find interesting... those are just a quarter of what I am talking about.
To begin with, all my friends know my love for photos. I am a camera freak! I can take pictures of anything and anyone at whatever time I feel I want to. Whoever came up with Instagram deserves a thumbs up for saving me a great deal. It is just what I wanted; somewhere to post my photos numerous times without getting complaints from people unlike Facebook. Surprisingly enough, I prefer taking my own photos most of the time. I believe it is because I am comfortable making stupid and weird poses when no one is watching. It's just like when you decide to go all Beyonce while taking a hot bath or shower. You sing your heart out and actually think you have such a melodious voice.

I have tips I would like to share when it comes to posing. Consider these as my little secrets.
Do not take a close up shot of yourself facing straight on. Your shoulders will look wider than they already are. Same applies to your ears, they will appear larger.
Shooting from above makes you look slimmer and gives an angelic view of your eyes. You don't necessarily have to look straight at the camera, try different angles. Then comes the issue of people being stiff. Do not give the impression that you are suffering when striking a pose. You have hands; run them through your hair, blow kisses....have fun with it.
Then again, don't take pictures too far away from the camera. You do not want to be swallowed by the background now do you? We want to see you, not the disorganized space behind you. Blowing kisses is obviously my signature sign.
My friends and followers from Facebook and Twitter are witnesses. I can go on and on about taking photos. At least one thing about me is evident to a good fraction of people. The rest is saved for later :-)

Remember; random photos are the best.

LET'S TALK SARCASM

Ever stopped to wonder why some people are so full of themselves even when they are not an inch close to perfection? Being heartless is their motto. Their bodies itch if they do something good for a day. Now…most people would be thinking about their exes and how egocentric they were. Let’s cut to the chase here…particularly men or guys. Some questions in school were not that easy. I wish there was a question like: “What is the meaning of the words GUYS and MEN? The answers are simple: Gangstas Usually Yawn Silently Mean Egocentric Newts Don’t get me wrong, I love men. Those are my thoughts, If you don’t like them… I have others. Ladies too have ego. Even though it’s nothing compared to the guys. If two ladies are fighting, One amongst them must be thinking she is way better than the others. Mostly, it’s about beauty..trust me. They forget to think that ugliness actually is superior to beauty because it lasts. In such circumstances, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. But then, sometimes the problem is not with our friends. Scientists say a quarter of the people in a group is crazy. Check three of your friends, If they are okay, You are the crazy one! Sometimes you just have to work on your differences and be peaceful. Think of it this way, What if you are in hell and you get mad at someone, Where do you tell them to go?

ANGER SPELLS dANGER

Anger is something we cannot avoid sometimes but we can choose to either let it ruin us or learn how to control it. Most people say when you are angry, just talk and let it all out because you’ll make the greatest speech. I say, unless you want to regret later, do exactly that. You should calm down before making rash decisions and blurting out meaningless words. When you talk with anger in you, half of what you say makes sense or is actually clear. Words come out as if you are rapping and maybe the particular person you are fuming at is not even moved or affected. In fact, he/she is just staring at you shouting at the top of your voice with veins visible all over your forehead and your whole body shaking as if it was the end of you. There is this quote that says: “Whenever anger comes up, take out a mirror and look at yourself. When you are angry, you are not very beautiful.” This does not mean you keep it all to yourself whenever someone offends you. You’ll be dying inside because the offender has no idea what you are feeling and is probably cracking numerous jokes about it. You can choose to write angry letters to your enemies. Lay out all the evils they have done to you. Plan out something to destroy them. Sketch the strongest grenade you would like to throw at them. When you are done, DO NOT MAIL THEM. Burn them instead. Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Do not go to a wall and start throwing fists as you scream your lungs out. Neither do you kick a stone in anger, you’ll only hurt your foot. As for me, I just go to a corner, scream for five seconds then go back to the same room where it all started with a smile on my face. Just remember that, for every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

LIFE DOESN'T SUCK

She just had her third miscarriage in two years. Doctors tell her she may not be able to concieve again. She is hopeless and trapped in a quagmire. If she does not make babies in the next three years to come, her community might take her as a curse and ban her from living anywhere near them. Her so called husband has lost respect for her. Her parents are very disappointed and have nothing to say. All they can do is wait and see. The friends she thought she had have disappeared in thin air. But all hope is not lost. She knows a day will come when she will rejoice and all those who disowned her will be ashamed of themselves. Everything he says or does seems to bring nothing but misfortune. At 32 and still jobless. No female wants anything to do with him because he can barely support himself. It’s not his fault he has no job. His family was taken away from him when he was just a toddler. He still goes up and down to every interview. The heat from the sun every day, The hard rocks and thorns inflicting pain on his bare feet, The many eyes staring at him as if he was not human. But he still goes to church every Sunday. He worships with enthusiasm and thanks God for everything he has even though many think he has nothing to thank for. You have a family. Every morning you wake up, you term it as torture. You put on a gloomy face whenever your parents ask you how school was. You wish you were never born simply because you have a two month old brother who cries in the wee hours of the night. “If God really loved me, He would have given me a better family!” You say. Take a look back at your life. Sometimes you may find yourself in bad situations and start cursing Not knowing there are some facing even worse situations and they can still afford a smile. Everyone has to go through hardships once in a while…in fact, it’s healthy. After all, he who knows no hardships will know no hardihood.

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

Just recently, as I was walking around town, I saw a couple publicly displaying their affection. As I passed by, the girl squealed gleefully: “Honey, people are watching…” The guy replied: “Because my girlfriend is so pretty.” I know we’ve all indulged ourselves in a bit of PDA at some point. But just how much it too much? This is the act of two people involving themselves in an intimate act in public ……and I dont mean hugging! It is difficult for lovers to keep their hands off each other but, why do it in front of everyone when they can find a room? Showing love to another human being should not be a social issue. Not that I don’t like it when someone touches me in public. Holding hands, hair play, a quick kiss, saying ‘I love you’ and hugs, those, I can do comfortably. When it comes to neck sucking… Please people. There shall be no sucking of any kind in public. Not even tongue kissing. Unless you are licking an ice cream, keep your tongue in your mouth. When you hear a couple say “I love you”, it’s very romantic. Hearing them say “I want you” is a whole other issue. It makes other people feel uncomfortable so if you must say it, Whisper it. In a nutshell, Do not disgust the public with stuff that should be reserved for a room. It’s a distraction and can make people think bad of you. Just make sure you don’t make anyone around you feel uncomfortable. Source: cattlya

FAR FROM REALITY

I know all of you watch movies. Even if you are not a fan, you must have seen one or two…unless you are leaving in your own world and not familiar with even the term itself. Most of these movies have that romantic scene where all the impossible become possible. They give the word LOVE a totally different meaning. People are literally being swept off their feet. A guy walks up to a female, bluts out anything that comprises a whole sentence with words that rhyme and the lady breaks down into tears. Now you and I know that does not really happen in real life. Take for example this scenario, a guy comes to me and says, “You know, girls like you give guys like me a reason to live” Or he asks, “Out of curiosity, were you born on a plame? Cause baibe, u’re fly.” You do not expect me to start getting emotional and say that that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. That itself is HILARIOUS! They say if you want to know a woman is really happy, she will shed a tear. But when it comes to these cases, do not expect a tear sweetheart. That is just getting your hopes too high. Then again, those fairytales do happen to some. I have seen love birds so in love you might think they are acting a soap opera. You know, good things come to those who wait. At first I thought this was just a saying that every Tom, Dick and Harry used to console hopeless romantics. But now… I know patience really pays. Just because he has a killer smile and the whitest teeth …that does not mean you can declare him your one and only just seconds after knowing him. Find that guy that will pick up every piece of your shattered heart and put it back together; keeping one piece for himself replacing it with his.

GOOGLE

What would I do without google? Life is so much simple with it today. Just the mere mention of the word ‘internet’ and everyone’s mind becomes stress free. Let me speak for myself. I google about almost everything; from my assignments to my name. I have tried spending a day without the internet and I barely survived half an hour. I would put it this way, if you wanted to torture me, taking my modem and phone away from me would probably just do it. But who said that would work 100%? I could always borrow someone else’s phone or modem. That’s how much I love technology. This is not to mean that my head is so empty that I cannot think for myself. Most of the things I see posted on the internet need some polishing. Remember, everyone is open to write anything. I could say beer improves your sight and almost everyone would be drinkinga beer just because it is on google. Not that am against anything but, you might want to do some research first before trying just some random thing you saw on the internet. When I said I google everything, I did not mean I believe everything. Some facts are so unrealistic, they make my ribs crack. But at least I know I achieved something….. A LAUGH!!